Newlywed Questions

Having only been married for 4 months I am no way an expert in marriage or relationships but I do know a thing or two about some of the questions people just love to ask newlyweds.

1. When are you having kids. This is a big numero uno for people to ask just out of curiosity or whatever. Just a heads up: this question begins the day of your wedding. Just wait for it. I know a lot of people are (maybe) just trying to make conversation but it gets old pretty fast when you are already getting asked ALL THE TIME (for the record, the answer no we have no plans for kids at this present time). This question is comparable to when you just get engaged and people ask all the same questions such as, how did he propose? When is the wedding day? However with the kids question it involves inquiries about my body and that kind of weirds me out a bit…am I alone on this?

2. Did anything change after getting married? I think this question specifically targets couples who have never lived together before marriage and who are not used to their partner’s habits on a 24/7 basis. Brian and I’s story is a little bit different in that regard because when I moved in with him I moved in with him and 3 other men. Yes that’s right I was so blinded by love I moved in with 4 dirty men into an ex-party house. It wasn’t awful but it did take me 3+ months of going room to room cleaning on my hands and knees before I felt completely comfortable there. I still have nightmares about the bathroom *shudder*.

yuckWe have been alone in the house for just over a year now and I think in some weird twisted way, having to put up with 4 guys makes having to deal with one a cake walk ;).

3. Where did you go on your honeymoon. This question is the least annoying because we had an amazing time on our honeymoon (part I & part II) and loved talking about it. Although it gets hard trying to recount all the details when its a few months later. I almost guaranteed that this question is a segway into question #1 though so just a heads up.

DSC_7061I have learned a lot in my first four months of marriage. It is true when I say nothing really changes once you get married but on a more emotional level it does. The mindset is no longer “me against the world” but more like “the two of us can take on the world”. It is reassuring to have a partner in life that is there for you no matter what. I truly believe that I found my soul mate and he is the person that I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life. Which is why I don’t mind answering the typical newlywed questions because I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if that meant I got to be with Brian.

xo T

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Wedding Details

When Brian and I first got engaged the idea of planning a whole wedding by myself was both exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. Countless hours were spent trolling wedding board on Pinterest and signing up for wedding newsletters from The Knot. Countless lists, sleepless nights, and many weekends with a glue gun were spent just to make sure everything was perfect down to the last detail. At the end, was it worth it? Honestly I would say yes and no. I don’t think people realized (or cared really) that I applied every pearl and ribbon by hand to their invitations, or that I had spent almost an entire year decorating mason jars with all different styles of lace and ribbon. But I felt more in control by adding a personalized touch to everything  that had to do with the wedding. I think this is why the rehearsal dinner was so hard for me, because everything was happening at once and I had to step back and let people help me. That was tough. I was so grateful for all the help I had though, there was no way I could have done all of that by myself. Just so those little details get the recognition they deserve, this post is dedicated to all the details that went into our wedding 🙂

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One of the things that has always bothered me with some of the brides on TV and on Pinterest is their emphasis on themselves. “It is MY day, I deserve this $10,000 wedding dress,” you know those types. My goal for planning our wedding was that it reflected both of us and our relationship. I wanted people to walk away and feel like they knew us as a couple and I think I achieved that. I didn’t really have a theme or plan in mind when I started but as things progressed my dream wedding unfolded very organically. Fortunately Brian’s main concern was that there was enough booze to satisfy a frat party, so my soft vintage vibe that kept appealing to me was A-okay with him.

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Knowing that a lot of the people attending our wedding averaged at the 30 year mark, I really wanted to have a photo component where people could show their photos from the wedding. A lot of people are now using hashtags on Instagram for this, but I found a site that offers a free app for people to download and they give you free printables for the tables. At the end, you just download all the photos people took with the app and thats that! I used Wedding Party App and got some gems of photos from our guests. It is neat going through the app photos because you really see the wedding through your guests perspective and lots of shots that you wouldn’t have seen.

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(note the centerpieces that I spent hours and hours on with a hot glue gun as well as the tent card with the instructions on how to download the app)

We really lucked out with our cake. A family friend made it and did an AMAZING job! She completely surprised us with the finished product and it exceeded my expectations completely.

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My mom actually found what we ended up using for our seating chart from a garden centre by fluke! Initially I was going to make my own, but this was exactly what I wanted.

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My lovely and talented sister Windy designed our Save The Dates, Invitations, and Ceremony Programs and I am so grateful for my bridesmaid Jo, for helping me fold 200 favour boxes and stuff them with pink hershey kisses (my mom went to bulk barn and picked out ONLY the pink ones from the bins for about an hour #props). Our MCs were our good friends and go-to double date couple, Duncan and Erin.

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We really liked the dynamic of having a couple up there as they played off one another and gave a unique feel to the reception.

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Looking back now it is pretty hilarious how stressed out Brian and I got about the songs at our wedding. We are both really into music with a heavy emphasis on the 90’s so it was important for our wedding to reflect that. And because we spent so much time deciding on music I am going to point out the different songs now so that everyone knows! Hopefully this will be helpful to anyone planning their upcoming wedding as I know I was super curious as to what other people chose for music for their wedding.

Groomsmen Ceremony Music: Ben Harper – Forever

Bridesmaids & Flower Girl Music: Marry Me – Train

Bride Walk Down the Aisle: Christina Perri – A Thousand Years (acoustic)  (The first time I heard this acoustic version of the song I started to cry. That is how I knew it was the one I wanted to walk down the aisle to)

Recession: Blur – Song 2 (Brian insisted on this song but I think it worked out really well!)

Reception Entrance Song: Marky Mark and the Funk Bunch – Good Vibrations  (how can you not get excited when you listen to this song?!)

First Dance: Phil Collins – A Groovy Kind of Love  (We had this song picked for over a year and kept it a secret from everyone except our DJ)

Mother/Son Dance: Boyz 2 Men – A Song For Mama

Father/Daughter Dance: Adele – Make You Feel My Love (this song I chose purely based on a feeling. it gives me chills every time I hear it and think it is so beautiful)

So as you can see we put a lot of thought into our song choices and really wanted them to reflect us and our relationship. I think we did a pretty good job 🙂

Weddings are so amazing and when your day finally comes it is very surreal. Everyone always says this, but make sure you take a moment and just soak it all in. Be present in the moment and enjoy all the love because it goes by so fast.

xo T

 

The Reception

After the emotional ceremony, it was awesome to go take photos with our wedding party and have some fun. We were all pretty excited though to get the party started at the reception. Our reception was such a blast! Full of dancing, drinking, good conversations, and so much love. It was especially amazing for me to have both sides of my family in one room at the same time (this has not happened in over two decades). I will let the photos speak for themselves though and you will see what a good time we had 😉

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Wedding Photos

After the ceremony and some family photos, the wedding party took off to get some pictures done at the baseball field that Brian used to play ball at in college.

untitled-392 untitled-399 untitled-409 untitled-425 untitled-459 untitled-469 untitled-502It took an embarrassingly long amount of time to get this jump shot right. “So we are jumping on three right? Two? Or Three? Ok jump now right?”

And afterwards, we were all STARVING so we ended up going to a local pub and getting some food.

Of course I wasn't going to risk getting anything on my dress!

Of course I wasn’t going to risk getting anything on my dress!

untitled-545 untitled-575 untitled-586 untitled-608We then went back to the hotel to party the night away with our friends and family!

The Ceremony.

When I am really nervous parts of my body shake uncontrollably. I used to sing in a choir and there were a few performances where my kneecaps would be twitching and shaking underneath my skirt. On my wedding day my upper lip was the body part that decided to shake. Walking down the aisle I was afraid to smile an open tooth smile because it felt like my top lip was going to shake right off my face and that everyone could see it (they couldn’t). Somehow my amazing photographer captured photos of me smiling while walking down the aisle so thank goodness.

untitled-173Brian told me that the absolute worst part about our wedding day was the waiting. Our wedding party had to coordinate the both of us and sneak to different rooms of the hotel so we wouldn’t get a glimpse of each other as we were waiting for the ceremony to start. At one point we were exactly one floor apart. I was waiting in my brother’s hotel room and since it was sitting there, out in the open, my dad and I and my bridesmaids all did a shot of jagermeister before walking down the aisle. Pure class. My one bridesmaid, Jo, wrapped herself around me to hold a towel so that I wouldn’t get any drops on my dress!  It actually really helped to take the edge off.

Meanwhile in the ceremony room, the decor was arranged

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the guests were seated

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the rings were carefully taken to the front

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and Brian was waiting.

untitled-144Again, I am not sure my step-dad Ian got a photo of me smiling while walking down the aisle but he did.

untitled-189I hugged my dad

untitled-195And faced Brian to swear my love to him.

untitled-217I cried of course and I don’t even remember what I said but I remember looking into Brian’s eyes and not even caring that there was a room full of people watching us. It was a completely surreal experience.

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untitled-249I would marry him again in a heartbeat 🙂

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Engagement Photos.

My step-dad is a very talented photographer and Brian and I were so excited to have him do our engagement session. There was a storm off in the distance the day that we wanted to do our photos. In the end this worked in our favor and made for some amazing background shots, but my curls got completely windblown. This photo shoot was the moment when it all hit me that I was going to marry Brian and be with him for the rest of my life, it was an amazing feeling and I think these photos capture our love for each other. So enjoy 🙂

DSC_6972Judging by my hair, you can see that this was one of the first photos that we took 😉 DSC_7007 DSC_7028 DSC_7061 DSC_7117 DSC_7121 DSC_7138 

Rehearsal Dinner

Since almost all of our wedding party was from out of town and Brian and I both have pretty large families, we knew that we wanted to do something low-key and inexpensive for our rehearsal dinner. We decided on a back yard BBQ at our house with in-town family and friends bringing food potluck style. Including kids, we had around 30 people crammed into our house but I think it worked out really well! Brian and his friend Jeff made 45 burger patties (from scratch!) ahead of time and froze them so all we had to do on the day of was take them out and put them on the BBQ! Easy peasy. My mom brought the best potato salad I have ever tasted in my life (she added bacon…I think that was the kicker) and our MC’s Duncan and Erin brought a storage bin full of salad! I think they were under the impression people would only be eating salad ? 😉

The rehearsal dinner was also the time when Brian and I gave our wedding party their gifts. For my bridesmaids I got each of them with the same line, “Hey, I really need your opinion on the photos for the seating chart.” Worked like a charm and one-by-one I tricked them into coming downstairs with me so that I could give them their gift. Each bridesmaid got a handmade lace design makeup bag that I got off Etsy that was filled with a bunch of goodies. Each bag had in it:

– lip gloss

– hand lotion

– mascara

– nail polish

– and a personalized compact mirror that had each of their names on it (for me and my sister, Windy, this is a big deal. Nothing ever had our name on it growing up)

untitled-122Each of Brian’s groomsmen as well as both of our Dads got a pocket watch (also ordered off Etsy, that site is AMAZING). The watches were engraved with each of their initials.

untitled-144-2For Brian’s two nieces who were our flower girls, they each got a necklace that had a little pink rose on it and a charm that had their first initial.

untitled-104-2 untitled-107-2One of our flower girls ended up being a bit too shy for the job but she still looked great in her dress 🙂

And finally for Brian’s two nephews who were our ring bearers, they each got a miniature baseball bat that said “Genuine Ring Bearer,” their name, and our wedding date on it.

Wedding 059 Wedding 056The actual rehearsal was pretty seamless as we lucked out and had an amazing Justice of the Peace to conduct our ceremony. We did a couple run throughs of the ceremony but at that point I don’t think the reality of the situation had really sunk in yet.

untitled-120Since we did not have a wedding planner, the main contact person for everything was myself. I had a lot of things organized a head of time but the rehearsal was just draining with questions that I hadn’t planned for. To help with this, I put certain people in charge of parts of the room. My little sisters were in charge of decorating the seating chart, my bridesmaids were in charge of decorating the head table and cake table, my dad, Windy’s dad, and other handy type guys were in charge of making sure the arch didn’t fall over on us during the ceremony, and friends that came to help out were given tasks such as putting the programs on the seats and setting up the centre pieces on the tables.

Naively, I was under the assumption that I would have all this time to be hands on and make everything “perfect”. But it turned out that I needed to be available to answer any and all questions from the hotel people, photographer (my step-dad), and the wedding party, friends, and family who I had delegated tasks to. I think it is important for Brides to have trust in the people around them and understand that they want your day to be perfect just as much as you do. And when it comes down to it, the guests are not going to be able to tell that the candles on the guest book signing table were supposed to be on the right and not the left. Just delegating tasks was exhausting and I remember standing and talking to the hotel coordinator and everything she was saying was going in one ear and out the other because I just couldn’t focus anymore.

untitled-119For all the soon to be brides out there, I will fall under the cliche to say this, but honestly just relax and breathe. Everything will turn out great because you are surrounded by people who love you and will do anything to make sure that your day goes off without a hitch. I was very open with my wedding party and I gave them all an itinerary of what was happening on the day so everyone knew what time the flowers were going to be dropped off, and where people were supposed to be at a given time. You can coordinate all you want but when it comes to the day, just throw your hands up and let people help you. They know what you would want and they only have your best interests in mind. I was fortunate to have some fierce girls behind me and they handled a lot of stuff that went down on the day that I had no idea went on. Look how on top of everything they are!

untitled-274-2Moral of the story: you can organize as obsessively as you want, but things are still going to happen that you didn’t plan for. The best thing to do is trust in the people around you and know that no matter what happens it doesn’t matter because you are going to marry the love of your life.